Conflicts between couples are a common part of life, especially when there is a difference in characters, desires, and expectations. However, leaving it unresolved is a grave mistake that can hurt the longevity of your relationship.
Couples can start the journey towards a healthier relationship by recognizing what sparks such arguments. The book “Marriage & Family Healing and Wholeness” underlines and openly discusses the causes that affect relationship issues.
Communication Gap
Communication is a couple’s strongest bond, allowing them to resolve conflicts before they become a deeper problem. But when there is a communication gap, misunderstandings destroy a relationship’s foundation.
Instead of communicating with each other, couples are usually seen talking about each other. The result? Resentment, tension, and feeling of being undervalued. When one partner feels that their concerns are consistently ignored or dismissed, they withdraw emotionally, creating a gap that can be difficult to bridge. Hence, couples need to acquire active listening skills and create an atmosphere where both people can share what they have in mind without fear of comments or consequences.
Unmet Expectations
Unmet expectations mixed with unrealistic negative thoughts can harbor resentment that leads to conflicts over time. Often, couples avoid communicating the cause of their frustration, leaving their expectations hanging high. This can lead to constant feelings of anger and disapproval, which leads to insolation of oneself and isolation from each other in your relationship.
Understand that all conflicts can, in one way or another, be solved if communication is emphasized. Therefore, by openly discussing the expectations, sharing your beliefs, and anchoring your relationship on the overarching principles, you can easily avoid conflicts in your relationship.
Lack of Trust
Trust is another cause of conflict in any relationship. When you don’t trust your partner, you can be jealous, suspicious, judgmental, or insecure. These feelings can shatter the foundation of the relationship, leaving the marriage ending in alienation and separation.
There can be several reasons for not trusting your spouse, such as past betrayals or toxic childhood experiences. Identify the root cause and rebuild your confidence. Ask yourself why you are suspicious of your spouse. Be patient and understanding, and learn to communicate your feelings with your partner. Learn to let go. Be vulnerable. Be “naked” with your spouse. This opens space for forgiveness and healing, strengthening your relationship.
Differences in Beliefs
Beliefs and values differ from person to person. When yours differ from your partner’s, conflicts are likely to arise. These differences can be cultural, family upbringing, personal, or religious and are often non-negotiable, or so we think.
Such differences in values might jeopardize a relationship, resulting in disagreements and fights. These differences affect you mentally and the future of your kids. No parent would want their kids to survive in such conflicting surroundings. Resolve your conflicts with mutual respect, find common ground, and honor each other’s choices based on your overarching principles. But first, you must ask yourself, “What principles do we both agree to abide by?”.
Conclusion
Conflict in any relationship is natural, but understanding its root cause is necessary. You cannot resolve an issue without addressing the real problem. Couples should learn the importance of communicating and trusting each other. Discussing expectations and appreciating each other’s beliefs are also important.
Couples can work together to heal and strengthen their relationship by openly discussing their problems. “Marriage & Family Healing and Wholeness” is a perfect read, suggesting proactive steps to address marital issues and lead a harmonious, happy life.
